


It could be the pearl It could be our hope, our dream, our life

by illbeyourbatman



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Brio - Freeform, F/M, Help, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This For Me, I'm insanely proud of myself, Pregnancy, Premature Birth, Season 3 rewrite, Secret Baby, obviously, whole mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illbeyourbatman/pseuds/illbeyourbatman
Summary: This is my Drabbles but in a bigger story. Basically a rewrite of s3 if Beth was pregnant.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 63
Kudos: 548





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually insanely proud of myself right now. Like it's not the best work and I haven't even finished (1 more chapter to go) but it's soooo, long! I didn't lose steam half way through and cry about what could have been.... OK I did but then I started back again so yay!
> 
> I actually got really good advice about writing recently, write for yourself. So this is for me, this is the story I want to read, it could get zero views, zero kudos, zero comments, and I'll still be happy ☺️
> 
> Happy reading folks!

Of all of Beth's children it seemed like it was her girls that were put on this earth to test her.

  
Her first pregnancy, with Kenny had been a breeze, sure there was the usual morning sickness but nothing too bad. She had loved being pregnant, everyone telling her how she glowed, the excitement of bringing a new life into the world. It was an amazing time in her life that she wouldn't have changed.

  
Choosing to have a second child had seemed crazy at the time considering Kenny wasn't even out of diapers yet but Dean wanted to have their kids close in age, someone to grow with, and Beth had wanted that too. Not that she didn't love Annie but with there being such a huge age gap she had fallen into the mother role to her.

No.

That wasn't what she wanted for her Kid's.

Just, two years after Kenny's birth, Danny came into the world and put an end to her child bearing days.

Or so she thought.

Emma was a... welcome surprise. Her and Dean definitely hadn't planned another child, they were just coping with the two boys when Beth found herself pregnant with Emma.

God it was the worst timing, Dean had just taken over his father's car lot officially and was spending more and more hours at the office and Beth was flirting with opening her own little online craft store as a way to bring in more money, something Dean was opposed to. Another child would put a strain on them financially but Beth knew it was manageable.

Just.

  
So less than a year after Emma's birth, at a routine doctor’s appointment, to find out she was expecting again was one of the biggest shocks of her life.

It should have been impossible, Dean had assured her after Emma he was going to have a vasectomy, she'd even played nurse after as he acted like he'd lost a limb.

Put the point was no more baby Boland’s in her future.

Turns out Dean hadn't gone through with the operation, chickening out at the last second but didn't known how to tell Beth.

She thought it was a pretty easy conversation, "Hey honey, you remember how I said I was going to get a vasectomy after you went through 32 hours of labour with our daughter? Well funny story but I didn't go through with it so we'll need to be more diligent with birth control."

Simple.

Except to Dean.

Her pregnancy with Jane had been hellish. She was tired all the time. There hadn't been the same joy that surrounded her other pregnancies but she powered through knowing that when she seen her baby it would all be worth it.

Only it wasn't.

She loves Jane. It's the same love she feels for all her kids, this all-encompassing love that cannot be put into words. But for the first few weeks of Jane's life it was hard to remember that.

After an emergency c section caused by being diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, the first few weeks were hellish. Dean had taken time of from the dealership to help with the kids but the 2 weeks had flown in and suddenly she was alone. The mother of 3 young kids and a new-born, after just having major surgery.

If it wasn't for Ruby and Annie she wouldn't have survived.

Literally.

They had worked out a rota so that Beth seen at least one of them a day. They'd came by with casserole (Ruby), and take out (obviously Annie), they'd help with the kids or around the house, whatever she needed they were there for her.

So why did she still feel so alone?

Turns out she had post-natal depression.

It had been months before anyone had figured out that she wasn't as put together as she'd like them to believe. Ultimately it was Ruby that had gotten her the help she so desperately needed; Dean hadn't even noticed a change in her.

Beth should have realised then that her marriage was doomed.

For months she had felt so alone, like a boat adrift at sea that was about to be swallowed by a wave at any moment and her husband hadn't noticed.

The man who was supposed to be her partner, who was meant to love her, protect her, didn't even notice that she went days without showering and could hardly look at Jane.

  
Their sex life was all but dead after Jane. A couple of quick fumbles through the years when she was feeling particularly guilty about how much she wasn't having sex with her husband, summed up her sex life.

At least she didn't have to worry about getting pregnant.

Well until she fucked her crime leader boss in a bathroom that is. And then again in her marital bed. And then shot him.

It was a weird few months.  
\--------------------------------------

Beth hadn't planned on faking a miscarriage it just sort of happened.

OK well, it didn't sort of happen, she knew what she was saying but when she had first told Rio about her pregnancy, yeah it was to save her life don't judge her, but she had every intention of sticking around for the pregnancy and becoming the most fucked up family since the Mansons.

Then he'd killed Lucy.

Beth wasn't naive enough to think that Rio had never taken a life before, you didn't become player 1 without having blood on your hands. She just hadn't realised how much he seemed to enjoy it.

With a nod of his head, Lucy was dead.

He didn’t even spare Lucy a glance as Mick put a bullet in her head.

No.

He’d stared at Beth the entire time, watching as she flinched at the sound of the gun going off, the silent tears that had streamed down her face at the loss of Lucy.

Innocent and naive Lucy.

Her hand had went to her stomach is if to shield her unborn child from the chaos surrounding her. Of course Rio had caught the movement and if anything it made him more enraged.

Not that you’d be able to tell on the outside, no he was his cool, calm self but she could see it in his eyes.

The resentment.

The rage.

All directed at her.

She wasn’t sure if it was at the fact she was pregnant or the fact that Rio couldn’t have Mick put a bullet in her head that enraged him so but in that moment Beth knew she’d do anything to keep him away from her child.  
The sweet innocent new life that she was bringing into this world didn’t get to be tainted by the blood on Rio’s hands. Or on her own.

So she done what she done best.

Made an outrageous plan.

The type of plan that only existed in her head but was still colour coordinated and had multiple threads but all working towards the same goal.

Her child’s freedom.  
\---------------------------------------

“When?”

The question had thrown Beth. Of course she had her story all worked out in her head, she was Beth Boland, serial liar.

She’d even gone over it, time and time again so she wouldn’t trip herself up.

Beth had been having some stomach cramps on and off for days but thought it was just early pregnancy niggles, until she started bleeding. Ruby drove her to the free clinic where they had confirmed she had lost the baby. It was just one of those things. Nothing they could have done.

But none of that came to mind when Rio had asked.

Not when he touched her, trying to stop her drinking the tequila shot (sorry baby but one drink in the long run is worth it) but all she could picture was the last time he had his hands on her, touching her softly, the night she killed him.

“Does it matter?”

“Alright then.” He seemed to hesitate before downing his glass.

“So what happens next?”

“Nothing good.” Rio said almost regretfully.

“How much would it cost?”

They both know what she’s talking about. How much is her life worth? But that doesn’t stop Rio making her say it.

“For?”

“My life.”

“Nah we ain’t doing that.” He dismisses.

“You haven’t been in the game for, what, two months? No pills, no cars, no cash? It’s gotta hurt.”

“You don’t know my interests.” The not anymore, was left unspoken but Beth hears loud and clear.

“I know they need capital. And your guy could chop me up in a million pieces whenever you want, so what do you got to lose?” Beth hesitates, unsure if she’s ready for his answer. “How much am I worth?”

“You couldn’t afford it.” Rio dismisses not even thinking about it.

“What if I could.”

This seems to grab his attention.

Good.

“What, you gonna raid your kid’s piggy banks? Maybe knock over another store, nah.”

“How much.”

  
Rio laughs, but it’s not a happy sound. He’s mocking her.

“Hmm let me think ‘bout it,” The sarcasm was clear as day as he continued to mock Beth. “Well for starters we’ve got my clothes, that shirt alone cost me near $200, Bullet holes ain’t really the look I’m going for. Then we gotta add in hospital care. You know its $700 alone just for a ride in the ambulance? Shit if I’d have known that beforehand I’d have took a cab. Never mind the 6 days in hospital. Shit, would have been cheaper if I had died.”

Beth tries to hide her flinch but she can see the moment he clocks it, the way his smile takes on a menacing air.

He’s like a shark that’s just smelled the first few drops of blood in the water.

“Now we can’t forget about my emotional suffering, ‘you know how much it hurts getting shot, damn near killed, by some basic level white bitch,” he laughs. “see a real boss would have taken me out, nah you just made sure it hurt like a bitch.”

“Memory lane is fun and all, but that’s still not a price.” Beth said trying to regain the upper hand.

Rio just laughs at her.

“Don’t worry darling we’ll get there,”

He turns back towards the bar, signalling the young bartender who been hovering near by. He puts in his order before turning to Beth. “You want something? Little liquid courage. You might need it.”

Her heart stops.

  
"I'm fine. Thanks." She tries to smile at the younger man who's watching her eagerly but by the look on his face she wasn't successful.

"Aight, suit yourself."

Beth knows this is all part of the game he likes to play. The let's see how long it takes Beth to crack game. It seems to be a favourite of his.

Beth watches him as he swirls the new drink around the glass, seemingly in no rush.

"How much you think your life's worth." he asks almost absent minded, watching the auburn coloured liquid in his glass.

"I-" Beth started but had no idea what to say.

"Yeah," Rio laughed lightly still not looking at her. "See, you’re not asking me to put a price on your life, your asking me to put a price on mine."

God, he was right. Beth knew it but wouldn't, couldn't voice her thoughts. Something about his demeanour made her hesitate, he seemed so... Tired.

"$100,000. I'll be in touch." Rio said abruptly like he had to push the words out his mouth before he had a chance to change his mind.

He quickly downed the still full drink before sauntering over to the door and Mick.  
Beth watched their interaction and Rio leaving, without a backwards glance, but it was through a clouded mind.

$100,000, that was it? This coming from a man that probably owner watches more expensive than that. She didn’t know what to think.

Lucky she was saved from her own thoughts by her new shadow.

“Let’s go.” Mick muttered, barley looking at her.

“I want another drink.” Beth replied on auto pilot.

OK, so she didn’t want another drink (lies, she wanted to drown herself in alcohol but wouldn’t until her baby was brought safely into the world.) but she was sick of men thinking they could tell her what to do.

“Yeah I don’t care, you either get a ride with me or you call an Uber cause I’m going home.”

Wait. What

“Wait. What? Home, as in... Your home?”

“Well I sure as shit don’t class your place home, no matter how nice the neighbours are.”

“So, I’m no longer in need of a babysitter or is it just changing of the guard? “

Mick looked at her then, like really looked at her, the type of look that made you feel naked and uncomfortable.

“Boss doesn’t think you need to be watched no more.”

Thank god.

“I think only a stupid man wouldn’t keep an eye on you 24/7 and I ain’t ever seen Rio be stupid. ‘cept when it comes to you.”

“Huh?”

Mick shook his head clearly done with her. “Get your shit or I’m going without you.”

Knowing he wasn’t one for empty threats, none of Rio’s boys were, Beth scuttled after him.

God it was a weird night  
\----------------------------------------

“We’re lying to gang friend again?”

“To be fair, have we ever been straight with gang friend?” Ruby mused while sipping at her wine.

Beth was only slightly jealous about the alcohol being consumed around her.

OK. That was a lie, god she missed bourbon, she drunk bourbon more than water most days.

Yeah.

She had a problem. But considering her life, it was necessary.

Beth sighed for what felt like the hundredth time.

“No. I lied to gang friend. You just need to not mention anything pregnancy related.”

“Because I’m always working pregnancy questions into the conversation.” Annie muttered sarcastically. “Oh, hi Rio! Are we hoping for a bouncing baby boy to take over daddy’s criminal empire?”

“Technically he already has one.”

Annie nodded at Ruby, "That's a good point! But come on, you've met that kid, he's scarily nice, like helping old ladies cross the street nice. Kid gives Ben a run for his money."

"Maybe he'd want a girl." Ruby mused. "You know, one of each."

"It doesn't matter what he wants," Beth snapped, not wanting to entertain the thought of Rio with a baby, her baby. "As far as he's concerned this baby is dead."

"You sure this is a good idea B?" Ruby, forever the voice of reason asked. "I mean, he's done some messed up things but he is still the father."

"What he's a perfect father because he takes his kid to the park? He only done that to get us on another hook. From what Rhea has said he's an absent father, constantly dropping in and out of their lives." Beth tried to defend her decision.

Ruby looked incredulous. "I didn't say he was a perfect father, hell or even a good father but he is the father."

"I'm doing this."

Ruby just stared at Beth, both understanding and imploring.

"You think he's not going to notice the bump? Or when you magically produce a kid that comes out in a bomber jacket and beanie?" Annie butted in.

"If any meets crop up I'll handle then until I'm showing too much and then you and Ruby can take over, by the time this baby comes I'll have gotten him out of our lives again."

  
“Gonna put another 3 bullets in him and still miss every major organ.” Annie snarked. “This baby is the only thing stopping him from putting a bullet in you.”

“We’ve worked it out.”

“That’s reassuring.” Annie rolled her eyes.

“Trust me.”

“That’s what got us into this mess in the first place.”

“Excuse me?”

She was not going to put this all on Beth. If anything, this was all on Annie! She was the one with the stupid idea to rob the store in the first place.

“It all started when you left those pearls.”

The pearls that she’d never gotten back.

She’d never really considered it before, always assumed that he’d pawned them, they had belonged to Dean’s grandmother, a wedding present from her mother in law, a sort of welcome to the family. She remembered how heavy they had felt around her neck as she walked down the Aisle. More like a noose that a necklace and she was walking to her execution. Now. Now she wasn’t sure what he’d down with the pearls, it’s not like he needed the money. Maybe he gave them to one of his other women.

The thought made her shudder.

“It started,” Beth stressed. “When you thought up that stupid plan to rob the store where you worked.”

“And we were free after Canada but you had to go back from more!”

“We needed the money!”

“You needed the excitement!” Annie screeched. “You got tired of playing house wife and now you’re playing mob wife.”

“So all of this is because I was what, bored?” Beth asked incredulously.

“Yes!”

Beth laughed but it was a hollow feeling knowing this is what her sister and best friend thought of her.

“Nobody dragged you along Annie. You made the choice the same as the rest of us.”

“That’s the point. I didn’t. You did. You chose to go back, dragging us along for the ride.”  
Beth was stunned silent.

"Okay... Well this took a turn," Ruby muttered eyeing the two sisters warily. "Why don't we chill and watch real housewives."

"So you agree with Annie?"

"I didn't say that!" Ruby's eyes bugged out.

"But you didn't disagree."

Ruby sighed. "Look B, yeah, you didn't ask us before signing up for a life of crime but we didn't tell you no afterwards, we went along with you. We all needed the money, hell this saved my daughters life and I'm never gonna be sorry for that."

"This," Beth said gesturing to her stomach. "means I'm out but you guys don't need to be."

"I'm out." Ruby said. "We saved Sara that's all I wanted everything else was just pudding."

"You know I'm not doing this alone; I'd say something stupid and gang friend would kill me on the first day." Annie said.

"She's not wrong." Ruby muttered causing the 3 of them to laugh.

  
“Guys you don’t have to do this for me.” Beth tried to implore them; she knew they still needed the money.

“We’re not. We’re doing it for us.”

“Yeah, bout time we were good girls again.” Annie grinned  
\----------------------------------------

The next few weeks flew by, the morning sickness (all day sickness), had eased up and they had put a small dent in the money for Rio. Ultimately deciding to wash their own cash, now Rio was back adding a new anomaly was just too much of a risk. It was more time consuming but Beth wasn’t willing to risk it.

Overall, it was a quiet time for them, if anything that set Beth more on edge. Things were running too smoothly but she didn’t have time to dwell on that, she was onto her next problem.

How do you tell your husband your pregnant with the man who shot him’ baby.

Yeah.

Hallmark didn’t exactly make cards for these moments.

At nearly 20 weeks Beth knew it was past time to tell Dean but she was fighting a battle daily at ‘work’ trying print the money as fast as she could, she didn’t want to do it at home as well.

Beth had thought it was better to have the kids out the house when they had the conversation and Judith was more than happy to take them, probably just to show Beth up again but she was past caring now. That women had raised Dean. She wasn’t perfect clearly.

With the kids gone she’d made the effort to make Dean’s favourite meal for dinner to ease the news slightly.

While she knew how much Dean loved her homemade tacos, she doubted they’d sooth this ale.

“What’s all this.” Dean spoke surprising Beth. She had thought she’d have more time to prepare her speech.

“Your home early.”

Dean eyed the half laid table with a small smile. “Yeah slow day so my manager let me go early.”

“That was nice of her.”

His smile dimmed. “Yeah, where are the kids?”

“Your mom asked if she could have them for a few hours so I thought it would give us time to talk.”

“Sounds good, just let me get freshened up.”  
Beth smiled in agreement getting back to setting the table.

\- - -

Dean took the news surprisingly well. Nothing like Beth had imagined.

Considering he had purchased a shotgun when he first found out Rio was alive she figured the idea of her having Rio’s baby would give him a coronary.

Dean had been stunned. More that she could keep if hidden from him for that long but he wholeheartedly agreed with her plan to keep Rio out of the baby’s life and promised to be there when they told the kids.

“We could say it’s mine.” Dean offered.

“He’s not stupid, he’d know.”

“What’s he going to do? He’d have no rights, I’m your husband, legally that’s my baby.”

Beth snorted, “Kill us both and take the baby? He’s not really someone you get away with taking something that belongs to him.”

“You did. I mean, you put three bullets in him and your still alive. He clearly has a soft spot for you.”

“I’m his rotten egg, eventually he’ll handle me.”

Of this she had no doubt. That’s why she couldn’t make herself easy to find.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Beth smiled. “The quicker I can raise the 100 grand, the quicker all this is over.”

She’d thought about it, even if she worked day and night, she’d never be able to raise the funds before she gave birth. At this rate she’d need to rob fine and frugal again and still have more to pay.

“The FBI have released the car lot, that should get us the money.”

“We don’t have enough money to get back up and running and even if we did we’d need to sell a ridiculous amount of cars to make the money.”

“I don’t mean selling cars, we could sell the lot.”

Beth paused taken back by Dean’s offer. “Dean, Boland motors has been in your family for generations, we’re not selling it to get me out of this screw up.”

“I started this, Beth,” Dean said sadly. “I was the one that forced you into this Life. You did what you did because I have you no other choice.”

“I chose to do this. I got into bed with Rio, not you.”

Wrong choice of words Beth realised to late as she seen Dean wince.

“Because I got our family into debt.”

Beth didn’t know what to say. Dean wasn’t wrong.

Dean seemed to realise this. “It’s the only way out of this, it’s what I should have done to start with and then maybe I’d still have my family.”

“We’ll always be family,” Beth was adamant about that. “We have 4 little people that connect us.”

“But you won’t always be my wife.”

“I-“What was she supposed to say to that? Of course, we should stay married, we’ve both had affairs we’re even now? Let’s raise the man who shot you, coincidentally the guy that I shots baby together?

No?

Beth settled on, “I think we’ve both known for a while our marriage was over, we just didn’t want to admit it to ourselves.”

Dean was tearing up and Beth would have to be heartless not to feel anything in that moment. She’d spent most of her life with Dean Boland, and despite what Annie thought, it wasn’t all bad.

“So this is it huh?”

Beth cleared her throat. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“I want you and the kids to keep the house, I’ll find an apartment nearby.” Dean said after a beat.

Beth had thought about it and before she would have bitten Dean’s hand off at the offer but now everything had changed. If she really wanted a clean break from Rio and everything associated with him, she couldn’t afford to keep the house.

“I need a clean break, somewhere he won’t look for me and I won’t always be expecting him to turn up.”

Beth didn’t need to say who he was.

“That’s probably a good idea.” Dean said somewhat resigned.

“You should keep the house; it would cost us more to sell it anyway. Plus at least the kids will still have some normality.”

“I don’t know if I could stay here alone. We bought this house for our family.”

Beth reached over the table to take deans hands in hers. “We’ll be a family no matter where we are.”

And for the first time in weeks, Beth didn’t feel alone.  
\---------------------------------------

Boland motors sold quicker than anyone anticipated. Beth had expected the sale of the lot to be tied up for months, but the realtor had found a buyer fairly fast, they didn’t seem to mind the fact it was raided up police not too long ago, in fact they seen it as a way to pay way below retail value but Beth was desperate to get on with her life so Dean accepted the offer.

All going well they’d have the money in a few weeks, once attorneys had gone over everything. It was a huge weight off of Beth’s mind.

Beth and Dean had decided to wait until the papers were filed before telling the kids. Which was a good thing concerning it turns out it takes surprisingly long to get a divorce, even when both parties were playing ball.

The fact she was having another man’s baby didn’t speed things up.

After their talk, things between them had settled in to a rhythm, both wanted the best for their kids and knowing staying together wasn’t that. There were still things to hash out, like who gets Christmas and what about birthdays but Beth was confident they could handle it.

Annie and Ruby had thought she wasn’t serious about the divorce, they’d been through this with Beth before, until they seen a letter from the lawyer’s office confirming the agreed upon terms.

Beth doesn’t think she’s ever seen Annie so happy.

Telling the kids about the baby and divorce in the same conversation was a bad decision on Beth's part she could admit that but I seemed better to spring the two pieces of news on the kids at the same time.

The younger kids we're excited to be getting a baby brother or sister. Well, Emma did demand if it was a girl to call it Elsa, which then turned into all the other kids shouting names out. Kenny looked as though he'd rather eat nails than have another sibling.

Telling them that mommy and daddy where getting a divorce, well that didn't go over as well.

"But you're having another baby." Danny said looking between the two, his face filled with confusion.

Beth's heart broke for him, her sweet boy, he'd always been the most sensitive out of all her kids.

"Things have been strange for a while now I know," Beth soothed. "Daddy and I still love each other very much but most importantly we both love you all sooo much! And we feel that this is the right thing for us as a family.".

Dean nodded energetically. "Yeah, guys come on, think about it. Two birthdays, two Christmas, two bedrooms."

"More presents?" Jane asked clearly intrigued by the idea.

Dean scoffed. "Of course."

"Okay." She shrugged as if it was no big deal.  
Oh to be that young and innocent again.

“Tara Harris’ mommy and daddy got a divorce and then her daddy moved away and married a new mommy and now she’s got two mommy’s, are we gonna get another mommy.” Emma rambled.

“Nope, just one mommy and one daddy.”

“But dad is gonna move out.” Kenny butt in.

Beth knew he’d be the one to take this the hardest, he was older than his siblings. “Actually we’ve decided that I’ll move out, I’ve been looking for a place closer to your school.”

Not technically a lie, she just didn’t mention how she’d had no luck within her price range.

“Why you, why not dad?”

“We just decided it would be better if I moved out.”

“So we’re staying with dad.”

“No buddy, I’ll pick you up from school on the Friday and keep you all weekend and then mom will pick you up from school on the Monday. You’ll have two homes.” Dean chimed in.

“That’s so cool! I’m gonna tell everyone I get two bedrooms.” Beth winced thinking of the gossip Jane’s deceleration would bring.

“No its not, this is stupid!” Kenny yelled.

“Watch your tone.” Beth tried to scold him.

“Everything was just going back to how it was before, dad isn’t sleeping in my room anymore, you seemed happier, why are you ruining everything! We’re supposed to be a family.”

Kenny yelled at a stunned Beth and Dean. It wasn’t that what he was saying was a lie it’s just Beth had never realised he’d seem so much. She just hoped this didn’t cause him to start gorging on food again.

“Buddy we’ve tried-“

“Try harder!”

“Kenny.” Beth said in her ‘mom’ voice, causing Kenny to turn his hateful gaze on her. “Your father and I have made our choice and you need to deal with that.”

“What about the baby? Doesn’t it change your mind.”

Beth sighed. “Your father isn’t the baby’s father.”

“So what? You cheated on dad and got knocked up and now he’s kicking you out.”

Beth was floored. She hadn’t expected him to draw that conclusion, but given the facts how could he think any different.

“Okay that’s enough, go to your room.” Dean snapped seeing how upset Kenny was making the other kids.

“But-“

“No buts, get up the stairs. I’ll come talk to you later.”

Kenny huffed but ultimately done as his father asked.

Dean cheated on her for years, with multiple women and she’s the adulteress.

Figured Beth rolled her eyes.

“Who wants ice cream.” Dean cheered making the 3 remaining kids perk up.  
\----------------------------------------

3 months after striking the deal with Rio, Beth finally had the money.

Apart from the occasional text reminding her what she owed, she hadn’t seen him since that night in the bar.

She wasn’t particularly looking forward to seeing him (liessss) but God she wanted this done and out of the way.

So of course Rio had to be difficult

Beth had, had the money ready for days, the black duffle bag in the boot of her car just taunting her.

She’d expected him to jump at the chance to get the money and finally be rid of her, she’d texted him the morning after Dean gave her the money, expecting a reply with a time to meet, like usual, except this would be it, the last drop, then it would be all over.

She’d be done.

She was wrong.

R: Busy

One word.

That’s all she got.

No matter how many texts she sent him Beth got no other reply.

That was days ago and Beth was beyond done with waiting on Rio, why did all the men in her life have to be so damn stubborn.

Well two could play that game.

So she went to the only place she knew to reach him now.

Luckys.

It had seemed like the ‘boss bitch’ thing to do at the time but actually sitting in her ‘mama van’ in luckys parking lot she felt her earlier determination waver.

Looking down at her ‘bump’ she tried to gauge how noticeably it stuck out in her oversized coat.

Honestly for nearing 24 weeks she wasn’t as big as with her other kids, you could most certainly tell she’d put on weight but it just looked like she’d been on the big mac diet rather than pregnancy. The obstetrician was worried about the amniotic fluid level surrounding the Baby at her last prenatal appointment, and had told Beth she might have to deliver early. Beth was trying not to dwell on it and had been trying to follow the advice she’d been given.

It just gave her and even bigger reason to get this part of her life wrapped up before the baby made an appearance.

She reached for the door handle before she could second guess herself. Stepping out of the car she took a minute to calm herself, her hand ran over her stomach on instinct as she felt the butterfly like feelings in her stomach.

This is where her lie begun. It wasn’t going to be where it ended Beth thought grabbing the duffle.

Steeling her nerves, she made her way across the abandoned parking lot.

“We’re closed.” A voice she didn’t recognise called from behind the bar.

“I’m not here for a drink, I’m looking for Rio.” Beth tried to come of unaffected but given the weary look the bartender shot her she wasn’t too hopeful.

“Up there.” He nodded to the staircase.

“Thanks.” Beth said with her housewives smile in place.

Beth could hear voices coming from the direction she was headed, the further up the stairs she got the more voices she could hear.

The voice in her head is telling her to turn back, this is crazy but she snuffs it out.

She reaches the top of the stairs and has caught the attention of some of the guys but not Rio. He’s sitting at a table in the far corner laughing at something Mick had said until one of the guys closest to him that noticed her entrance points her out.

His gaze swings to her, all traces of humour vanish as he takes her in, in takes Everything in Beth not to fidget, not to drop her had to her small bump and cradle it like she would in any other situation.

Needing a reprieve from his hot gaze, she looked straight ahead.

"Elizabeth." That voice, the one she only hears in her dreams now, calls out. "Wasn't aware we had a meeting."

"Well I was in the neighbourhood, figured I'd stop in and say hi."

Rio shot her a smirk as he dismissed his boys with a nod of his head.

How many head nod commands did they have?

"I've got your money." Beth said when they were alone. Well with the exception of Mick who was now their unofficial 3rd wheel.

"Told you I was busy ma."

"Luckily this will only take a few seconds." Beth said handing the bag over.

Rio took it and nodded to Mick who came and took the bag from his boss and started counting it.

Beth really began to wonder about how effective the head nods were. It was freaky how much that conveyed.  
“Take a seat.” Rio took his seat at the table again gesturing for her to do the same.

“I’ve not got time to stop.”

Liar, you just don’t want to stop, her mind supplied.

Rio did that head tilt that infuriated her, it was like he was amused by her. “Wasn’t a request.”

Beth slunk across the space, trying to gauge his mood.

“Been a while, you look good ma, how’s the husband and kids?”

Beth’s hands unconsciously began smoothing down her coat, running her hands over the bump concealed beneath before she knew what he was doing. Quickly righting herself Beth snorted. “We’re good, Jane’s missing Marcus, it’s all I hear about.”

Rios smile turns hard at the mention of the boy. “Yeah, Marcus was real cut up at losing his new friend. Keeps asking his mom about playdates and shit.”

“I’d be happy to phone Rhea and set something up.” Beth smiled her best PTA worthy smile.

“Yeah, that ain’t going to happen.”

“Rhea was pretty upset with me.”

Rio snorted. “Upset? Shit she was furious, ain’t the first time someone’s tried to use her to get to me but she wasn’t expecting it from some white suburban soccer mom.”

While it had initially been about making sure Marcus was okay, Beth couldn’t deny that she had genuinely liked Rhea. It was nice to have someone outside of Annie and Ruby to talk to. While she loved her ladies, there was something’s she couldn’t talk to them about.

“It wasn’t about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Rio said eying her across the table. “Then what was it about?”

“Marcus.” At the mention of his sons name he tensed. “I didn’t want him to suffer because of what I’d done.”

Rio snorted. “After you killed his old man you mean.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I kept imagining my kids if they lost their father, I had to find out if he was okay.”

“And what, you’d swoop in and save him with your kids hand me downs.”

“No!” Beth protested. “I, I saw him and Rhea at the park one day, I didn’t plan it, it felt like fate, that I was meant to be there, I sat down with Rhea and we just got to talking, she was so... Tired, Marcus had been having nightmares, she said he was missing his dad. Missing you, that you did that sometimes, leave without any word and just pop back up, she was so sure of it, talking about how it would be fine in a couple days when you were back but I knew you weren’t coming back after what I did so I had to try and find a way to help, I had to stay in her life so I could help her, help Marcus so I gave her my number to arrange a playdate and, I don’t know it just kind of spiraled.”

Beth rambled, it was like someone had opened the floodgates and now she couldn’t stop it all from pouring out. She had thought she was doing the right thing.

Rios face was hard when she plucked up the courage to look at him.” So you ain’t just trying to take my place in my business, you trying to take my place in my kids life?”

“I just wanted him to be okay!”

“And you think I don’t!” Rio roared causing Beth to flinch, she’d never seen him this angry. “Everything I do is to make sure he ain’t gonna grow like I did! You know he gotta call me every night now? Keeps thinking I’m gonna up and leave again, has nightmares about me leaving and the only thing that will calm him down is to call me at 3 in the morning. That’s on you.”

“I didn’t want to hurt him.” Beth said feeling the tears gather in her eyes. “I just wanted it to stop.”

“Cause its always about you.” Rio laughed. “You didn’t think about what this would do to my kid, my family, nah just you and yours.”

“Don’t pretend you know me.”

“Don’t forget, I do.”

“Did,” She corrected in a low hiss. “Past tense.”

Rio laughs mocking her. “Cause you some kinda bad bitch now.”

“No, because I know what I want now.”

“And what’s that?”

“Freedom.” Beth said causing him to laugh.

“Oh darling, you a trip.”

“I’m serious.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t want this life anymore, I just want to go back.”

“Told you this shits medieval, you don’t just get to walk away.”

“I killed the king didn’t I.” Beth fired back.

“Next time you best make sure I stay dead.”  
"There isn't going to be a next time! I want out. I'm done."

"See, that's what I'm having a hard time with, cause I know you ain't making no 100gs with a part time job but yet, here we are."

Oh if only he knew.

"We sold the business."

"Damn, car man really wanted his little wifey back."

"He's just upset because your supposed to be dead. He liked the poetic justice of me shooting you after you shot him."

"Want me to send him a sympathy card?"

"He'll get over it."

"And if I had been dead, and you did have my kid, what were you planning on telling them?" Rio asked looking like he already knew.

"I, I uh, never really thought about it." Beth stammered clasping her hands on the table so she didn't give herself away.

  
“Were you and car man gonna raise my baby, make him think its his?” He mocked. “Nah, car man’s stupid but he ain’t that stupid. Gonna tell junior you killed his pops?”

Beth remained silent.

“No? Hmm probably were gonna get rid, till it was the only thing keeping you alive that night. Couldn’t have a little Latino baby, what would the neighbours say.”

“You’re such a dick.” Beth breathed out.

“Yeah? And you’re a cold hearted bitch darling.” Rio spat.

“It’s all there.” Mick called interrupting there stare off.

“Good. Mick, escort Mrs Boland out.”

And like that she was dismissed.

Beth held her head high as she made her way across the room, refusing to look back no matter how much she wanted to.

“Elizabeth.” Rio called out freezing her in her tracks. She still, didn’t look at him. “Don’t come back here.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!!!! Omg!!! I love all of your comments, like ugh, please know that I smile rediculously big whenever I get a comment, kudos, bookmark, anything on this, so thank you!
> 
> This has 1 more chapter left after this that I only really have fleshed out in my head so again, no idea when i'll update, plus I have 2 more essays then i'm done with college that i've not started...It might be a while, sorry!

Turns out Beth severely overestimated what kind of property she could afford without printing money. She still had a little left over from from the sale of the lot but not enough to last her if she was gonna take sometime of from work after the baby was born. So her and her girls turned back on the printing press.

They all agreed one more big run and that was them out of business.

She'd managed to find an apartment within her current wasn't in the best part of town but had enough space for her and the kids. It was definitely a downgrade from their previous home but Beth loved it anyway. It was hers. She had gone from living at home with her mother and Annie to living with Dean. She'd never had anywhere that was just hers before. It was nice.

The apartment building was rundown on the outside but the apartments themselves were surprisingly well kept, it was small, considering there was going to be six people sharing the space but not enough so to make her feel claustrophobic.

With only 3 bedrooms the kids had to share, she groaned thinking of the arguments that caused. Kenny, threw a fit when he found out he had to share a room with Danny.

The kitchen/living room was an open plan space right as you opened the apartment door, with the bedrooms in back.

The real draw for Beth was the fact the kids could still go to their old schools. It would add an extra 20 minutes to the commute in the morning but it was more than worth it for the kids to keep some normality.

Her belly had finally seemed to 'pop', at 29 weeks, there was no mistaking the fact Beth was having a baby.

"Anne."

"Nope.

"Allie, works for a girl or boy."

"I'm not naming the baby after you." Beth said, this had been an ongoing argument with Annie. Every pregnancy she'd petitioned for the baby to be named after her.

"I named Ben after you, Sadie Elizabeth, you could let me name one kid, you've got enough of them." Annie sulked.

"He changed it." Beth shrugged.

"That's not my fault!" Annie protested.

"Girl stop." Ruby sighed. They had been having the same conversation when she left on a wine run 15 minutes before. "We both know she's not naming that baby after you."

Annie grumbled under her breath.

"Isn't that right little Ruby." Ruby cooed in the direction of Beth's stomach causing Beth to laugh.

"I swear to god Beth-"

Beth cut of whatever dramatics Annie was gonna start. "I'm not naming the baby after any of you, it's its own person, it gets its own name."

"Stop calling it, it." Annie protested. "Baby B can hear you."

Beth shot her a dark look.

"Don't look at me like that, this is your fault, if you'd found out what you were having like a normal person we wouldn't be in this position."

"I have not had enough alcohol for your sister to be making sense." Ruby sassed taking a seat next to Annie handing her a wine glass.

"Surprises are nice." Beth protested rubbing her baby bump where the baby was kicking away.

"Weren't you surprised enough you got knocked up by gang friend or when he came back from the dead." Annie snorted into her glass.

"We gotta get you a filter." Ruby shook her head.

"Pfft, overrated."

Beth had the gender written down in an envelope stored in her bedroom drawers but there was no way she was telling Annie that, it would turn into a whole thing and Beth didn't want that.

Beth didn't even know why she'd accepted the idea by the ultrasound technician. The women had said it was a good idea for gender reveal parties and she was so enthusiastic Beth hadn't had the heart to say no.

She liked the idea of a good surprise for once.

"This is going to be a good surprise." She stated.

"Unless it's a boy."

"Annie! I'll buy you a muzzle, I swear to god."

Beth just laughed not taking Annie seriously. She knew she didn't mean it. "Well, I already have two of each so it makes no difference either way."

Jane really wanted a girl, Emma and Danny were on team boy and Kenny barely spoke to Beth right now, still angry with her for the divorce.

"Boys are easier." Ruby stated. "Girls..." Ruby trailed of taking a large drink from her glass.

"Kenny's freezing me out right now." Beth said raising her apple juice in toast with Ruby. "Boy's are just as hard."

"Ben's amazing. Your kids just suck."

Ruby and Beth sent a glare Annie's way.

Annie rolled her eyes drinking deep. "Okay, he's going through this thing right now where he questions absolutely everything I do and it's driving me crazy."

"Always knew that boy was smart." Ruby said.

"Yeah, yeah, how's Sara's life of crime progressing, she shivved anyone in the school yard yet?"

"You guys think your kids are bad? I've got four," Beth stressed. "And another on the way. Oh, and I'm a single mother."

"I'm a single mother." Annie protested.

"Yeah, to one kid."

"Should have kept them legs closed." Annie fired back.

"Pretty sure we told you that at 15." Ruby muttered.

All three women laughed.

"I needed this." Beth admitted.

"Me too." Ruby said.

"And me."

"What am I going to do with another kid, you guys."

It had been weighting on Beth's mind the last few days since the kids left to stay with Dean for the weekend. She was in her 40's, in the middle of a divorce, and completely on her own in this.

"Feed it, change it, let it sleep. Done." Annie assured her.

"I've never done this on my own before."

"Please," Ruby rolled her eyes. "Dean took like two weeks when Kenny was born and I think he popped into the hospital with the rest."

"Plus, you've got us." Annie chipped in.

"Oh that's a given." Ruby assured. "I've already told Stan I'm moving in for the first few days after the baby comes."

"You can't," Annie whined. "I was planning on moving in, I'm going to tell work I've got mono so we'll have a week at the least, I could probably stretch it out for two."

Yeah. She'd be okay, Beth smiled watching her sisters arguing.

* * *

Being a hundred weeks pregnant it was decided Beth wouldn't be washing the cash, she'd be too conspicuous. Annie and Ruby took over that role, but with both having full time jobs as well as families they weren't able to wash as quick as Beth could make.

They needed to enlist more people. Rio was no longer a factor since he had been paid off. They would move small amounts, not enough to be on his radar. Seemed fool proof.

Except they didn't exactly know where to find criminals without robbing a store.

This wasn't something she could post on one of her many parenting forums.

That is until they were thrown a life line in the form of a disgruntled removals agent.

Her divorce was the gift that kept on giving.

Dean agreed that while he kept the house, she should get the furniture, well what would fit in the new apartment anyway. Beth had chosen to take most of the kids bedroom furniture, living room furniture and all her kitchen utensils. Wasn't like Dean was going to need cake tins.

All she had to do was find the moving company.

Six phone calls and the cheapest quote later and she had movers.

One week later she had a furnished apartment and a new employee.

Funny how life works.

* * *

"But I like this team." Jane whined, Beth knew she was on the verge of crying and after an already stressful day and had needed to pee for the last ten minutes, that was dangerous territory for a pregnant women. She had no time for the dramatics.

"This one is too far out of the way." Beth snapped, Jane had been having the same argument with her for the last week. "We'll find a team closer to home."

If she was honest, yeah it was further out of the way than Beth would have like but she would have make the journey to every practice and every game, put up with the whispers behind her back and the fake sincerity to her face if it wasn't for one factor.

Marcus.

She had thought Rio would have pulled him from the team as soon as he'd realised it had ultimately been her doing that Rhea had signed him up.

She was wrong.

Beth had completely forgot about the little boy joining the team with everything else that was going on in her life, until a few weeks ago she had spotted Rhea picking up Marcus as she pulled out of the parking lot with Jane.

It was like a bucket of ice being poured down her spine.

She'd nearly given her secret away with one stupid mistake. If she'd been a couple of minutes later all hell would have broke loose.

She decided then that Jane had to quit the team. Her and Dean had spoken about it and it had been decided that Jane could play until the end of the season and Dean would do drop offs and pick ups.

Beth had reluctantly agreed.

It had worked out well for the first few weeks, till Dean was... Well Dean,and bailed out at the last minute leaving Beth to collect Jane from practice.

She'd been paranoid ever since she set foot out of the car, she had even arrived early to pick Jane up so there was no chance of a run in but of course that just made Jane irate.

"We're just getting good."

They were terrible but Beth would never tell her daughter that.

"And any team would love to have such an amazing addition to their roster." Beth assured.

"It's too late to join another team. I don't want to join another team. "

"You'll be fine," Beth dismissed. "You've still got till the end of the season."

"No!" Jane protested letting go of Beth's hand and steeling herself.

Beth could see her car parked just ahead of them. "We'll talk about this when we get home, I still, need to pick up your brothers and sister."

Jane shook her head. "That means no."

"Jane." Beth warned.

"No mommy, I like my team, I like all of my friends, I don't want another team."

"Baby, you'll, make new friends."

"I don't want new friends!" Jane screeched.

Beth could feel the judgemental stares of the other parents like knives in the back.

"Get in the car."

"No!"

"Get. In. The. Car."

"No."

"You have till I count to 3." Beth warned trailing off.

"Or what?" Jane sassed throwing her hands up in the air. "You'll keep me home from soccer practice?"

Beth had enough grabbing Jane's arm she started dragging her towards the car.

"Just because you're getting a stupid divorce." Jane screeched scratching at Beth's hands trying to free herself. "I hate you!"

Beth dropped her hand in shock. Jane began to back away rubbing at her wrist. Beth felt like she had been punched in the gut when she noticed the action, she hadn't grabbed her too hard... Had she?

"Baby..."

"I hate you." Jane sobbed.

Beth felt her own tears gather in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

"I know." Beth whispered taking slow steps towards Jane, finally reached her, she reached up and began wiping the tears that were falling down Janes cheeks away.

Her daughter crumpled even more, reaching for Beth as she sobbed in earnest. "It's not fair."

"I know."

"I want to stay with daddy," Jane sobbed breaking Beth's heart. "I want to stay on my team."

Standing in the middle of the slowly filling parking lot, holding her heartbroken daughter, Beth was at her lowest. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby."

Beth held her a moment longer. "Why don't we see if auntie Annie can pick everyone else up and you and I can go get some ice cream?"

Jane squeezed Beth tightly before letting go. "Two scoops?"

"Two scoops." Beth confirmed, coaxing a smile from the young girl.

"Deal." Jane agreed wiping at her tear stained face smiling up at her mother.

Beth wished she had even an ounce of Janes resilience.

"Okay, go wait by the car why I call Auntie Annie." Beth shooed a smiling Jane.

The phone rang a couple times before an out of breath Annie picked up "Yeah."

"I need you to pick the kids up." Beth said skipping niceties.

"Why?"

Beth sighed. "Jane had a meltdown after practice, I'm gonna take her for ice cream."

"Damn, that's out of my parenting book." Annie sniggered.

"Ha," Beth rolled her eyes. "I want to talk to her and I can't with the rest of the kids there."

"Mommy look at me." Jane shouted doing some elaborate twirl in the slowly filling up parking lot, that just looking at her made Beth feel sick.

"Well done baby." Beth cooed absentmindedly but it seemed to be enough to appease Jane that went straight back to her impromptu ballet lesson.

"Why doesn't deansy pick them up." Annie grumbled but Beth knew she'd still drop whatever she was doing to go pick up the kids.

"He's working."

"Banging his secretary again more like." Annie muttered.

"Nothing to do with me anymore." Beth shrugged not really caring. "Can you do it or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, send me the details."

"Already did."

Beth clicked end call before Annie could squawk indignantly at her for presuming Annie would do it. Looking up from her phone she couldn't see Jane, shaking her head she made her way to the car. Jane was her... Free spirit, less reserved than the rest of her siblings it wouldn't surprise Beth to find her chatting away to someone.

"Jane." Beth called looking around halfheartedly knowing she couldn't have gotten far.

Well...

It was Jane. Anything was possible.

As a toddler she'd somehow gotten out the house and gone to the house two doors down to play with their dog when Beth had taken her eyes off her for a second.

"Ja-" Beth went to call out before she stopped seeing her daughter in the opposite direction of their car practising her cartwheels. Beth didn't know how she had the energy after football practice but smiled at the sight.

She slowly started in her direction, giving Jane some more time, to just be care free, be a kid.

As she got closer Beth could see Karen Richards car make its way into the parking lot, the gossip around the park was Karen's husband had finally had enough of her drinking and had kicked her out. Beth couldn't find it in her heart to feel sorry for Karen, her mother was a Karen, constantly drunk and forgetting the fact she had kids. Beth watched on wearily, picking up her speed in order to get to Jane quicker, if she got caught by Karen there was no way she'd make it out of the parking lot before everyone else. Jane looked up at that moment and smiled at her mother as she made her way to meet her.

Beths heart stopped as Karen veered in Janes direction. Beth dropped her bags and ran as fast as her pregnant body would allow.

"Jane no!" Beth screamed stopping Janes smile, Beth could see the confusion on the girls face but she still continued towards her mother as Karen continued on her patch towards Jane.

It happened so fast that Beth didn't have time to think just react. She reached Jane seconds before the car, quickly throwing her out of the way before she was thrown over the car.

Beth woke to a horrible ringing in her ears, her head felt like she'd been 10 rounds with Tyson Fury, worse than the time her and Ruby got wine drunk and she had thee hangover from hell the next day.

The buzzing in the background suddenly seemed to get louder as the world started to come back into focus.

Right.

She'd been hit by a car.

Someone had hit her with a car.

Beth could hear someone calling for her but she couldn't pin point who. She wanted to tell them she was fine, to reassure this unknown person that she'd be fine.

Beth tried to sit up but quickly realised that wasn't a good idea as her ribs protested. Loudly. It was probably best anyway, the adrenaline was leaving her system and Beth could feel herself starting to slip as darkness crept in. The pain seemed to be intensifying as it spread from her ribs now down to her abdomen where her baby was nestled away.

Oh baby. That was her last thought as the darkness engulfed her.

* * *

The lights were so bright Beth thought becoming aware of her consciousness, why where the lights so bright.

"Beth, Beth, can you hear me." Someone was calling for her.

Beth wanted to tell them yeah she could hear them but as her conscious returned so did the a shock of pain.

"Beth you've been hit by a car, can you tell us what hurts?"

Everywhere she tried to say but the pain was too intense. Looking for the voice Beth quickly realised she was moving down a hallway on a gurney.

"Beth I need you to tell me what hurts."

Beth found the source was a young doctor who was moving along with her. The agony-filled wave passed, leaving a low, aching throb.

"My baby," She managed to rasp struggling to stay awake. "Save my baby."

"How far along are you?"

Beth was so tired, she didn't think she had ever been this tired before.

"Beth I need you to tell me how far along you are."

She couldn't think all she wanted to do was sleep. Fighting through the fog Beth muttered "30 weeks."

Beth stopped fighting and let the blackness overtake her. They'd save her baby, they had to.

"Prep the OR and get me someone from obs and gyne up here now, call NICU and put them on stand by."

* * *

Someone's talking, she cant make out who or what is being said the words are hard to make out; the sounds shift and syllables change. Slowly the sounds begin to shape words but Beth cannot understand them her heads too clouded, she's trying to fight her way through but she can't be sure why.

"-,ns got the kids I told him I'd call him with any updates."

Kids.

Her kids.

Jane.

The name hits her like a lightening bolt. Jane. Her daughter, her baby girl. There was an accident, Beth remembers, was Jane hurt!?

Beth can feel some of the fog clearing. A car hit her. She was in hospital. But where was Jane.

"When I came in he was in the waiting room again."

She tried to ask but her throat couldn't chew out the syllables.

"Beth? Beth! She's awake! Someone help me, she's awake!" The voice, Annie her brain supplied called out frantically as she pushed hair out of Beth's face. "Ruby she's awake! I'll call back."

"M'fine." Her voice is a harsh rasp, unfamiliar to her ears. The words slur and blend together as she speaks them. "Jane."

"Jane's fine." Annie assures. "She has a couple scratches from when she landed but other than that she's perfect."

Landed, Beth racked her brains trying to work it out. Right, Beth had pushed her out of the way of the car.

"Mkay." Beth slurred willing her eyelids to open but she was just so tired.

"You really scared me you know." Annie whispered as she continued to play with Beth's hair like she'd done to Annie as a small child when she had been sick.

Beth tried to assure her she was fine but all she really wanted to do was go back to sleep. "Mm"

"Ah Mrs Boland your awake!" A jovial voice called getting closer to her. "How are we feeling?"

Like I got hit by a car, Beth thought but couldn't voice.

"She asked about Jane, so she remembers, no amnesia here, but she's not really making sense when she speaks, more like slurring her words." Beth could hear the worry in Annie's voice.

"That's perfectly normal," The doctor assured. "Her body's been through a traumatic few days, it needs rest."

Days?

She's been asleep for days?

"She's the mother of 4," Annie snorted. "This is the most rest she's had in years."

"She's right." Beth croaked sounding more like her. "Still tired."

Beth forced her heavy eyes open, wincing at the unusually bright light. The lights began to dim and Beth threw a tiny smile at Annie who dimmed the lights when she noticed her sisters discomfort.

The doctor chuckled. "That's to be expected Mrs Boland, you underwent a major trauma, we've got you on morphine to combat the pain."

"No pain." Beth sighed happily taking in the room. It was pretty standard for a hospital room, there was a punch of flowers next to her bed that had seen better days but Beth felt touched at the sentiment. Looking out the window Beth could see the moonlight filter through the window.

"It's working well then." The doctor laughed reaching for the chart at the bottom of the bed. As he read he made little tutting sounds in his throat that set Beth on edge.

"How long was I out." Beth asked somewhat reluctantly.

"It's Monday." Annie replied looking at her watch. "We'll Tuesday."

The soccer practice was Saturday.

Well that wasn't as bad as she was expecting.

Beth tried to push herself up into a more comfortable position, pain shot across her stomach at the motion. Beth's hand instinctively went to her baby but her stomach was flat.

Beth's heart began to race.

No.

No.

This wasn't happening.

"Beth?" She heard being called out over sound of the now frantic sounding machines.

Running her hand along her now flat stomach Beth felt her heart break in two. Her baby, her poor innocent baby was no longer nessled there.

She'd killed her baby.

In saving one child, she'd lost another.

"Mrs Boland, your having a panic attack, I need you to calm down or we'll have to sedate you."

The words went on one ear and out the other as Beth began to sob.

"Beth!? Beth it's OK." Annie shouted sounding frantic.

"Administer 50mg." The doctor said but Beth was past caring.

This was her fault. She had caused this, all the lying and scheming had come back to get her. How could she think there would be no repercussion for her killing a man.

"My baby." Beth let the word tear from her throat as she sobbed feeling the effects of the drugs almost immediately.

She welcomed the darkness as it called to her.

"She's alive Beth. She's OK." was the last thing she heard as she succumbed to the darkness.

* * *

He was a father again.

He didn't know the kids name, what sex it was, what it weighed, what it looked like, hell, even if it was still alive but somewhere in the hospital just a few corridors away was his baby.

God dammit Elizabeth! He thought darkly. Always so goddamned stupid.

Elizabeth had needed an emergency cesarean, the placenta had ruptured putting both lives in jeopardy. The baby was alive at birth and whisked away to the NICU, while Elizabeth was still unconscious.

He'd managed to get that much out of a nurse but no matter how much he threatened or tried to bribe his way in, no one was letting him past reception. Unless he was family. Didn't matter that it was his kid fighting for their life, legally his baby was Dean fucking Bolands and as long as Dean didn't want him near. There was nothing he could do.

It made him want to go and smash car mans face into the pavement until he reconsidered but that would mean leaving the hospital and there was no way in hell he was leaving till he found out what was going on with his kid.

That nearly 24 hours ago and he still didn't have more information.

Mick was meeting with potential clients for him and running the day to day but there was only so long that could go on for. His associates were still on edge from his supposed death, another sudden absence wasn't going to do anything to quell that.

Rio stands from the seat he'd parked himself in hours before, trying to ignore the way his knees crack as he stands when he sees Annie coming down the corner looking like she's got the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"She awake." He asks when she gets closer making her jump. Normally he would revel in scaring her, not today.

"Why are you here?" Annie questions running her hands across her face wearily.

He'd been the one to call her, Rio had arrived at the hospital just after the ambulance, all but abandoned the g wagon and raced down the halls after the paramedics but he'd still been too late. They'd already wheeled her down corridors he couldn't go, shouting medical shit he couldn't follow.

"Not leaving till I see my kid." Rio stated.

"Dean's kid."

It took everything Rio had not to cause a scene. Last thing he needed was to be kicked out. "Nice try, but wasn't too long ago she was pregnant with my kid. Even if her and car man did get pregnant straight after the 'miscarriage' she wouldn't be far enough along for the kid to survive."

"Beth got her dates wrong," Annie desperately grasped at straws trying to keep her sisters secret. Rio kind of admired that. Kind of. "She was further along than she thought. We came up with the miscarriage so you wouldn't put a bullet in her for making a mistake."

"Hmm." Rio nodded. "Is that right."

"Yeah, so just leave, when Beth wakes up she's not going to want you here."

Rio was good at picking people apart, he knew there next move before they did, he didn't get this far by being unobservant, that's how he knew Annie was overwhelmed. She was trying to hide it he knew but she didn't know what to do. He'd bet his bank account that this is when she'd be calling big sis to come bail her out.

"Think I want to hear that from her."

"Get a fucking clue!" Annie screamed. There it was. "She doesn't want you in her life anymore! I think she made that clear enough when she fucking shot you!"

They were drawing attention to themselves. Rio nodded to the passing security guard who looked like he was getting ready to intervene.

"Lower your tone." Rio warned.

"Or what?" Annie laughed hysterically. "You'll shoot me?"

Jesus fucking Christ, why do these three always think he's gonna shoot them over the slightest thing. Especially in public. Rio rolled his eyes wishing he didn't have to be going through this right now. Why couldn't it have been Ruby he called.

"Nah, or that security guard is gonna make us leave."

At his words Annie's eyes swivelled to said security guard. She visibly tried to calm herself, shooting the guard a brittle smile.

"You need to leave."

"You need to stop lying to me." Rio countered.

"This is between you and Beth."

"Oh I'd love to keep this between me and your sister, maybe 5 months ago when she faked a miscarriage would have been a good place to start!"

"You gave her no choice." Annie hissed.

There was his confirmation. It was his baby.

"Yeah? And how'd I do that." Rio laughed bitterly. "By letting her live after she tried to kill me?"

"You killed Lucy!"

Shit this was all about the mousy co-worker?

He couldn't kill Elizabeth because of the pregnancy, he'd briefly toyed with killing one of her ladies before dismissing the idea but he still needed to send a message.

Actions have consequences.

He'd only chose the girl at random, he'd seen them laughing together at that store she worked, she seemed sweet. He felt a twinge of regret that she got caught up in their shit storm but Elizabeth had to learn.

"Could have been you." Rio shrugged unrepentant. "Had to send a message."

"Consider the message well and truly received. Congratulations, now there's no way she's gonna let you near that kid."

Rio stepped closer to Annie, he could see her visibly fighting not to take a step back. Maybe she was like her sister after all. "Make no mistake about it, I'll be in my kids life."

Annie visibly recoiled. Good.

"My sisters just came out of major surgery, my niece is fighting for her life, and you want to throw around threats?"

Niece.

He had a daughter.

"It's a girl?" he said absentmindedly, trying to envision what she would look like. Would she have the same big brown eyes as Marcus? Would she inherit his mother's smile? His sisters laugh?

Annie nodded her head in conformation.

"She got a name?"

"I don't know, Beth didn't want to find out the sex. I think she's got names chosen for each just encase but she wouldn't tell me."

"She gonna live?"

"Beth or the baby?

"Both."

Annie hesitated and that was all the answer he needed. "They're keeping Beth sedated for now, they, uh, they don't know about the baby yet. It's too early, they said the first 24 hours are critical."

Rio didn't know what to do, what to say. This wasn't something he could solve with cash or his gun. His daughter might die and he'd never even get to meet her.

"I want to see her."

"She's asleep."

Rio shook his head knowing Annie knew what he meant. "I want to see my daughter."

"That's not my decision to make." Annie stuttered.

"Then you better find a way to make it your decision because if I don't see my kid, you don't see yours."

Annie paled at his threat.

Good.

Sometimes having people think the worst of you was a blessing.

* * *

The first time Beth met her daughter she was three days old.

Lying in the incubator, the little red human that she had helped create had a respiratory tube plugged into her mouth while I.V. lines and monitor patches on her chest made her look like she was on the brink of death.

There was so many tubs and wires she wasn't sure what was connected to which.

Beth sucked in a hard breath at the sight. "She's so small."

"She weighs just under 3 pounds." The nurse who wheeled Beth along said as she read the chart attached to the incubator.

"Oh god." Beth choked out. "That's so, small, how can she be that small."

"Hey now," The nurse soothed bending down to Beth's level. "For being born so early she's actually a very good weight."

"Really?" Beth was sceptical

"Really, really." The nurse said. "Now the doctor is coming to speak to you about this gorgeous girl if you feel up to it."

Beth looked up to see a very serious looking man in scrubs walking towards them. "Yeah."

The kind nurse squeezed her hands and Beth momentarily felt bad that she couldn't remember her name.

"Mrs Boland, I'm Dr Patel, I was the one who delivered your daughter."

This was not the same guy Beth vaguely remembered from before.

"There was significant trauma to the uterus that caused a placental abruption, We had to do an emergency cesarean section to get the baby out, it was a risk to baby but if we hadn't performed surgery both lives would have been lost."

"And my baby?" Beth asked looking at the tiny girl.

"At 30 weeks gestation the fetus is fully formed, our main concern now is brain function."

The doctor delivered the news with the same tone as you'd order a drink in a bar. Matter of fact.

"But you said she was fully formed?" Beth grasped at his words desperately.

"Fully formed is not the same as fully developed. Her lungs are also under developed, she took a breath after delivery which is a good sign but right now a ventilator is doing her breathing for her and she's on steroids to help develop her lungs but the ventilator will be doing the work for her for a while."

"And her brain?"

The doctor sighed. "We won't know the full extent of the damage for some time but your baby was deprived of oxygen for sometime, how long we're not sure."

"But she's going to live."

"Mrs Boland, she's very small,-"

"But you said it yourself, she took a breath on her own, she's strong."

Her father had come back from the dead for godsakes. This was nothing, stubbornness was in her DNA, she was going to be fine.

The doctor sighed. "The next 48 hours are critical. We'll reassess her after that."

Beth nodded along looking down a her tiny little miracle. She'd be fine. She had to be.

"Does she have a name?" The nurse asked.

"Pearl." Beth smiled never taking her eyes of her daughter.

It all started with Pearls, it was only right that's how it ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: This story came about because I was trying to think up Brio Baby names and I decided Pearl was perfect for them
> 
> Also, Beth was supposed to save Marcus from getting hit but my computer cut out after I wrote that scene and didnt save :( and I ended up going another way - Plus side I have outtakes that i'm gonna post when i'm finished this.
> 
> Any mistakes, criticisms feel free to send, only way to learn x


	3. Outtake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hesitantly waves* Heyyyyyyyy
> 
> So while this ISNT a chapter, it's an outtake that I can't bring myself to delete cause I love it. This was from my first idea when Rio finds out and then breaks into beth's new apartment, clearly, I went a new route. But I find this scene to good to delete lol
> 
> So please enjoy while I work on the next and most likely last chapter (I'm actually writing rn so hopefully not much longer, damn rl getting in the way!)

"Ay pop, come on we gotta go," Rio yelled across the soccer field glancing up from his phone, Marcus and all his little friends were huddled together after practice goofing around. Normally he'd wait till the kid was ready to go home but he's already late for a meeting with potential new clients. Coming back from the dead while it added to his rep, really hurt his business.

God damned suburban bitches.

"Daddddddd."

"What I tell you about whining?" Rio said hitting send on his text, hopefully, Mick would be able to buy him some more time.

People used to beg for his time, now, after being arrested and killed, he's having to do business with bottom feeders. He wasn't sure if he's more pissed about the 3 bullet holes or the loss of some major clients.

God damned Elizabeth Boland.

"That only babies whine."

"You a baby."

"No," Marcus answered with a put upon sigh. He'd already heard this, and he would till it stuck in his head.

"Then why you whining," Rio said pulling him under his arm affectionately as they made their way to the car.

"It's Jane's last practice. She's moving to another team."

Damn, when Elizabeth said she wanted to cut her ties to his world she went all out. "That right."

Marcus nodded throwing his stuff in the back of the car before racing round to the passenger side. "Yeah, she said her mom's not got time to take her to the games anymore because of her sister and her dad always works on game days."

Rio snorted, he'd seen the amount of activities the Boland kids were in. Shit Marcus only has Karate and now soccer and already Rio and Rhea were finding it hard to find the time, that's why he was on pick up at the last minute, Rhea had a work thing, never mind adding another 3 kids.

"Yeah, what's up with her sister," Rio asked absently as he started the car up.

"She's in hospital." Marcus shrugged. "Can we go for ice cream?"

"Sorry pop I'm already late, I'm just dropping you with your Abuela till mom can pick you up." Marcus's face fell making Rio feel even shittier. "Hey, how about I pick you up from school tomorrow and we get ice cream then?"

Marcus smiled that full megawatt smile that never ceased to make his heartache with all the love he's got for that kid. "Yeah!"

"Cool, remember and ask mom when she picks you up." Ain't no way Rio was doing it, she'd chew him out for bribing Marcus, but if he asked she'd be a sucker for those puppy eyes the kid would throw her.

"So, whys Jane's sister in hospital, she break something?"

The other girl, Emma? Emily? From what he'd seen she was the quieter sister, always shy around him, didn't seem like the type to be doing stupid shit that caused broken bones but he couldn't say one way or the other.

"Nah, she's just little."

She was a dainty little thing, so was Jane.

"Pop, she can't be that much smaller than you." Rio laughed at Marcus's outraged expression.

"No, she's not! She's a baby!"

"Yeah, she's definitely older than you."

Marcus looked at him like he was an idiot. "She's just been borned. I am so much older than her."

Rio's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

Marcus nodded looking thankful his father seen how serious his comment was. "Yeah, Jane's got a new sister that's just been borned but she has to live in the hospital for now because she's too small Jane said."

"What else did Jane say?" Rio's rasped out, his hands gripped the steering wheel so hard he was beginning to lose feeling in his fingers.

Elizabeth had, had a baby.

Wait,

Was it Elizabeth or one of Dean's side pieces?

No. It had to be Elizabeth if she couldn't make soccer anymore, right?

He couldn't think. There was too many thought swirling around his damn head.

She'd had a miscarriage. She told him so. And the shittiest part was he was relieved.

Relieved his own kid had died. That he wouldn't be tied to her forever. His rotten egg, his girl.

She couldn't have had a baby if she'd had a miscarriage, not one that would survive being born now anyway. He tried to count back but his brain felt like it was short-circuiting.

"That she's got 2 bedrooms now, she was really excited so I didn't want to tell her that I've always had 2 bedrooms."

"What did she say about the baby?" Rio asked slightly impatient, trying to reel it back in before he scared Marcus.

Marcus shrugged looking unconcerned like his words hadn't just blown Rio's world apart. "Nothing, just that her mom can't make soccer anymore 'cause the baby."

"So it's her moms baby?" Rio pressed.

"I guess."

He felt laughter bubbling in his throat. This was Elizabeth Boland, of course, she fucking lied.

He was gonna kill her he decided, this time, he was really gonna kill her.

**Author's Note:**

> .... Hi?
> 
> Took me legit months to write this soooo see you guys in another who knows how long!


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